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in such a small world I'm all curled up with a book to read...

Good song.

So once again I have decided to update my journal. Not a whole lot has changed since my last update back in September. Thomas wrote me a letter and I've been trying to think of what to say back. With everything that happened, I never expected to hear from him ever again. I know about him and Crystal and I wish them both every happiness. When we were dating, occasionally I thought that if Thomas and I ever broke up, they might make a good couple. And now they're together. So that's good. I know that things will never be the same between the three of us and I can tell that Crystal sides more with him even though she's known both of us the same amount of time. But apparently that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, does it? I had a friend that I had know since elementary school turn her back on me because of what happened, but I still love her. I still love all of the friends I had made and then lost in the two and a half to three year time slot that I knew them. If any of them bother to read my posts I want them all to know that I still love them and I hope that one day we can at least be tentative friends.

Well, I guess I should talk about other things for a while...

For my birthday I received two cakes; one from Matt's mom, and one from Carrie's mom. My 'party' was very small, with only Matt, Carrie, and Lauren in attendance. But it was a good time. We poly-d out and laughed and had a drink or two. I got several cards, a set of sheets, a Gundam Wing Deathscythe model kit, and a pink snuggie. It's sitting on the couch for when we curl under it to watch a movie. We watched a movie, Legend of The Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole. I liked it a lot. Matt complained that the 3d gave him a headache and he tried to get a refund, but it didn't work.

We tried to go see The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but they closed the doors on us because the seats were filled. So that was a bust. We also didn't get to go to AWA or Nekocon, but we're going to try for Katsucon in February.

Well, I can't really think of anything else to write. So I guess this is it for now. I suppose that the next time I have something of interest to update about, I will. So for now,

Ja ne.
So I just decided to randomly update my journal today while I wait for Matt to get back from Kevin's house. I've moved out into an apartment with Matt and I am incredibly happy with him! So far it's been a grand adventure in living on my own, even though I'm not technically 'alone'. The place we have is a one bedroom located on the second floor. We have a balcony and an open living/dining space that we converted to two living rooms. One half has bookshelves and a big blue chair for me. It also has Matt's smaller TV with all of his old game systems. The other half of the room has Matt's plasma TV and a couch with a low glass table and two small side tables. I guess the side tables aren't really necessary, but we use them for the rear speakers of our small surround sound system. It's a nice little setup and I don't think that it really crowds the room.

That's really the most interesting part of our little place. That, and I'm too lazy to sit here and write about the rest of the apartment.

So I'll just end it here. To the few that still consider themselves my friends, and I'm including Julia because I STILL LOVE YOU, I am incredibly happy with Matt and nothing is going to change that. I hope you can support my decision, but if not, I'll still be waiting.

Ja ne!

Aug. 25th, 2010

So I was feeling nostalgic and stuff and I decided to find and download an old game my brother used to play called Tex Murphy 3 - Under a Killing Moon. It's a detective-type game that I believe takes place after WWIII or something. They had a 'tv clip' from WWII but in the beginning Tex has a book on his desk titled 'WWIV'. But whatver.

Anyway, the discs are being ass pains and not letting me play it on my laptop or on Matt's laptop that has XP on it. So the whole thing is giving me a migraine and I'm really getting frustrated by it but I still really want to play it. I think it might just be my computer though. I tried to play xargon on here and it was slow and lagging and stuff like that. Oy.

But I thought I would just post this as I haven't posted in a long while. So here's an update to you few people who bother to follow me on here.

Ja ne!

Sad News

It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon - the veteran Pillsbury Spokesman. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours.

Long time friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man, and was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 5:30 for about twenty minutes.

Ode to Windows 98

Oh, dearest Windows 98. Where I got my first introduction to the wonderful world of personal computers. Oh, how I have missed thee. And now, to find you here, before me, complete with a 14 gigabyte harddrive and a floppy disk drive; it almost makes me want to cry. Even now, I have recovered an old disk of mine from the days before I owned a Universal Serial Bus device. Those 20 megabytes were so precious in those days... I feel a little nostalgic now, wishing I could go back to that time. Back to when I knew very little about somputers other than how to read text files. I miss those days so much sometimes.

But, alas, those days are behind me. No longer do I wait patiently for five minutes whil I connect to the Internet. No more do I dash back and forth between the library computers and my own, saving text files and reading them in the dead of night. No! I have a new computer now, a laptop, and on it I am able to follow the latest autions in Japan, stream video from Canada, even buy food from Germany. Yes, the days of Windows 98 are over; but you will always have a warm and special place in my heart. And hopefully, in the hearts of other computer users. For now, though, I must bid farewell to this document, for I have some serious cleaning to do. Au revoir, mon cherie!

(Okay, so technically I started out with Windows 95 and then my dad upgraded to Windows 98, so sue me. Point it,s my fiance's brother gave me his old 98 computer and it reminded me so much of living in Bellwood, PA playing solitare that I had to start writing about it. Happy now, any critics out there?)

May. 22nd, 2010

Is setting aside one's differences with another person for a single weekend such an impossible dream? Two friends that I love dearly now can't stand to be around each other because of a horrible breakup. Maybe it's because I tried to end things on good terms, but I can't seem to get my head around the animosity between my friends. I'm still friends(at least I would consider them friends) with my exes, but that's just me. All I want is to have the two of them, together with me for one weekend in September. I want that more that just about anything! Both have mentioned how much they owe me for my help before; I would never ask them for anything ever again if they could do this one thing for me! Whatever happened to, "If there's someone you are wanting so to kill them, you go and find him, and you get him, and you no kill him, cause chance is good he is your love"? (I know that's from Avenue Q but can't it apply in the real world?)

Well, at this point in time, I'm too tired to try and agonize over it more. Maybe tomorrow, when I'm rested....

Oyasumi minna-san...

Dungeons and Dragons musings

Okay, so I just finished playing a game of Dungeons and Dragons, well I should actually say Pathfinder, as that is the rulebook we are using, but anyway; I find myself a little bit worried about the coming sessions.

I have recently discovered that we are fighting against a lot more than we first thought. Not only are we fighting demons, but undead as well as the last of a powerful bloodline of serpents.

(Oh, I guess just to clarify for anyone who pays attention to this journal, the game of D&D I'm playing involves animals as characters. So instead of having humans and elves and dwarves and the like, we have squirrels and mice and bats and chipmunks. So, serpents are a BIG deal to us)

I have also recently discovered that my mother, who disappeared promptly following my birth, may have visited the bat tribe who lives outside of The Wood(our home) and that I may actually have a last name.

(Another note. In this game, you only have a last name if you earn it for yourself and your family. So last names generally carry some weight in our world)

My character is a brown mouse bard, who sucks at being a bard. I find that, when faced with actually role-playing my character out, especially in the serious sweat-my-deodorant-off sessions we have, the words that I would have wanted to say abandon me. Chibi the Person is not one of flowery words unless she's joking. The fact that I am also playing with a good collection of seasoned gamers makes me even more nervous. Which makes our storyteller, Master John, have to basically 'lead me by the paw'. I can write down stuff and think of stuff, but when it comes time to say it, I freeze up. John says he's going to put me in sessions where I HAVE to role-play, and that's the part that worries me. I'm not terribly afraid of my character dying, since she's already faced death a couple of times already. It's more the fact that I'm afraid she'll say something utterly stupid and/or completely inappropriate or wrong.

I just know I'm going to be dreaming about this session tonight. I have taken up a real-life position of bard in our group to the extent that I am writing down what we are doing in the game as it progresses. It helps when we have to go back and review, as we had to this session.

I'll give you a basic overview of what happened tonight:

My party and I were welcomed into the bat community so that we could ask the Baron(their ruler) for aid in the growing badger(demon) threat that has begun to disturb our borders for a second time. While in counsel with him, we learned that one of our gods is still out there and attacking indiscriminately between the badgers and the bats. We also learned that the badgers have a much larger force than we knew of. A mole monk in our party was able to learn, as well, the location to a cure for a tribe of his brethren that had been turned to stone by a serpent's curse.

So we have two roads ahead of us. We can either head to the lair of the serpent and cure the monk's brothers, or we can attempt to go to the badger stronghold and destroy it. There is also a third path that is presented to us, but none of us really want to go that way. The path I'm talking about is going back to The Wood and making the threat publicly known. The ruling house of our homeland would rather keep this as hush-hush as possible. As such, he has placed a price on our heads. You can see why we might not want to go that way.

There are so many things that I wish I could type on here; but because Master John is looking to publish some of his works, I can only try and give a bare skeleton, and beg that no one uses any ideas they may get from my entry. I know some may ask, "Well, why even post it at all then?," and I'd have to say that I needed to get it off my chest before I screamed.

And now that I have, I'm going to bed.

Ja ne!

Mar. 28th, 2010

I'm

...

Worried

...

And a little bit


...

Frightened.

Feb. 4th, 2010

Posting posting posting! I have nothing to say really, but the newest episode of "Ugly Betty" featured blogging. It just made me feel like getting on my little Kaoru and updating my journal. Now it isn't really a blog or anything but sometimes it feels really good to type out all of your feelings like frustration and anger and stuff. It's strange how people seem to post more about being angry at/about something/one but not very many people post about being sad. Not like people DON'T post about being sad or depressed or anything, it's just it doesn't seem to be such a stress reliever like ranting.

...It makes sense in my head!

In other news, I've recently started re-watching Forever Knight, a show that aired in Canada during the early 90s. It's about a vampire who is trying to become a mortal again. While he is doing that, he is paying his 'debt to society' by being a night cop. Ramia got me into it by having us watch it late into the night in her old apartment. Good times, bad food. Lol.

Mmm, I love this fuzzy duckie slippers that my friend 'made' me get. They were on clearance at the local Bath & Body for only, like, three bucks! Yay!

Also, I got our room for AWA! Woot! I tried to get them the first of the month, but the site said that the rooms were all booked! I got really mad too because I could have ordered the night before for the convention rates, but you have to put down a credit card number and Babnoba was iffy about if the hotel would temporarily freeze his account so I had to wait...

...And I've started to babble. I guess I have nothing better to write about so I just start writing about whatever pops into my head and before you know it I'm blabbing all my secrets onto the Internet where anyone can read them unless I set it to private and even then my friends can read it and it can get out and spread all over the place...

...There I go again. Man I need to stop... or get my friend Joniqua in on this. it's quite therapeutic. She's totally crazy like me so we get along really great.

Well I better stop now or else this post will never end.

Ja ne!